As I sat at my favorite spot at the kitchen table, full view of the gorgeous property out the back window, I was watching little cousins giggling as they peaked out from behind their hiding spots as their grande cousine Canadienne, Gabrielle was running across the yard searching for her little cousins in a joyful game of hide and go seek. Nathalie was snuggled up on the couch watching Bambi with 4-year-old Delphine, her arm cradled around her admiring petite cousine. It had taken a few weekends at my uncle Xavier’s country house, for my girls to feel this comfortable. But each time we saw our Parisian family, Nathalie and Gabrielle’s comfort levels grew exponentially.
We were fortunate to spend some wonderful family weekends at my uncle’s country house just outside of the big city during our Paris adventure. Some weekends it was just the three of us with my uncle and aunt. Other weekends, it was pure mayhem, with up to 24 of us, including 11 children, 7-years-old and younger. At the beginning it was tough for the girls to be around all these new family members. Yes they had met most of them before but last time they had been 7 and 4-years-old. Life changes quickly at these tender ages, so do personalities and comfort levels. This was certainly true for me as well. I could see that my girls were looking to me to see how maman felt, how maman fits in, how maman feels. Funny how my comfort level shot straight up with my children looking on; forced yes, but so glad for the big push.
Yes one of my biggest challenges in France has always been for me to feel completely comfortable with my Parisian family. As a child I would see my aunts and uncles and cousins perhaps several times every few years for a dinner or two. Not exactly enough time to develop bonds and relationships. My sister and I would be sitting at la table des enfants, a separate dining table for the children, our legs almost hitting our chins as we sat on miniature chairs. And being 5 years older than my eldest cousin did not help, we had very little in common. This year, these weekends at the country house, Christmas en famille, museum visits together, lunch, coffee dates, shopping, with a year to spend time with them, our relationships and my comfort level grew. My mother often talks about how important it is for future generations of our families to stay in contact over the expansive ocean that separates us. But this year I heard my reserved uncle Xavier, my mother’s brother, tell us how important this will be when they are no longer around. Moments like this only reinforce how important it was for us to spend time in France and really get to know les Demortreux and their ever-growing families.
Gabrielle playing Uno with Mathieu and Alban. Nathalie sitting at the big country dining table showing my cousin’s husband, Nicolas, how to use her iPad. Gabrielle playing badminton with Patrick, my eldest cousin Valerie’s husband. Nathalie happily helping Tante Simone make dinner. A week after we returned to Calgary, I received an e-mail from my cousine Laetitia. She signed off her message with a salutation I have never seen before from my French family, avec toute mon affection, with all my affection. I immediately realized that, yes, we were all feeling much more at ease with each other and were spending time together because we wanted to, not because we had to. Another success for Tai Girls: family bonds. Objective number two for our year, happily checked off the list. √
Yes, we love Paris indeed!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Taking Stock - Part 1
“There is never any ending to Paris, and the memory of each person who had lived in it differs from that of any other. Paris is always worth it, and you received in return for whatever you brought to it.”
Ernest Hemingway - A Moveable Feast
As I sit here at 5am on a Sunday morning, no longer able to sleep, still jet lagged, I wonder what the three Tai girls brought to Paris and what we received in return. What was our year all about? Going to Paris we certainly had goals in mind; what we wanted to accomplish and hoped to gain from this experience. Did we achieve these? Can we check our goals off our list? Now that we are back in Calgary, it is time to take stock of our year.
The year in Paris (and my blog) started with me sitting in a café after dropping Gabrielle off for her first day of school. The Frenchman beside me struck up a conversation and the second sentence out of his mouth was “what a lovely English accent you have." For a transplanted half Canadian half French woman, hoping to fit in, this was not the most encouraging way to commence the year. Luckily our French improved over the year, some of us faster than others.
It only took a month of school for Nathalie to start sounding like a Parisian adolescent, stylish mumbling included. Her accent is impeccable; any hint of the Canadian is completely gone. By October, she was correcting my French. By November she was rolling her eyes at me when I made mistakes, looking embarrassed in front of her new friends. I brought this on myself though, as this was one of our main goals for the girls, for them to speak French better than I do. I did not factor in the 11 year old attitude and the rolling of the eyes.
Gabrielle had higher to climb and more work to do. She did not disappoint. She was in special lunch time sessions with her teacher for students with French issues. Come December, Gabrielle was told she no longer needed to attend the lunch time sessions. By January, Gabrielle was correcting my French. Apparently I should have been attending these sessions with her. But a week before our departure back to Canada a French friend told me that he could almost not hear my accent when I spoke French. I did not question him any further, took this as a compliment and quickly changed the subject.
A few days later, with some good family friends and apparently speaking French with barely any accent, I made the dreaded “Kristian mistake.” Kristian is my younger brother. Years ago when he was 12-years-old and we were in Paris he commented to our French family about the peanut butter he liked back home because it did not have any “preservatives” in it. In French, "preservatifs" means condoms. Needless to say, our family was quite delighted to hear that Canadian peanut butter did not contain condoms. Yes, I made the dreaded “Kristian mistake” two days before leaving Paris. At least after a year of school in Paris the girls speak French better than I do. Apparently my French still needs some work.
The only French I wished we had left behind are the lovely schoolyard words the girls have learned and occasionally use –which I will not repeat here. These are some words that are better left at recess at their Parisian schools. Merde, this is not the kind of French I brought them to France for, goddammit!
I can proudly check off our list: French language skills (with some bonus words too). √
Next, getting to know zee intimidating Parisian relatives....
Ernest Hemingway - A Moveable Feast
As I sit here at 5am on a Sunday morning, no longer able to sleep, still jet lagged, I wonder what the three Tai girls brought to Paris and what we received in return. What was our year all about? Going to Paris we certainly had goals in mind; what we wanted to accomplish and hoped to gain from this experience. Did we achieve these? Can we check our goals off our list? Now that we are back in Calgary, it is time to take stock of our year.
The year in Paris (and my blog) started with me sitting in a café after dropping Gabrielle off for her first day of school. The Frenchman beside me struck up a conversation and the second sentence out of his mouth was “what a lovely English accent you have." For a transplanted half Canadian half French woman, hoping to fit in, this was not the most encouraging way to commence the year. Luckily our French improved over the year, some of us faster than others.
It only took a month of school for Nathalie to start sounding like a Parisian adolescent, stylish mumbling included. Her accent is impeccable; any hint of the Canadian is completely gone. By October, she was correcting my French. By November she was rolling her eyes at me when I made mistakes, looking embarrassed in front of her new friends. I brought this on myself though, as this was one of our main goals for the girls, for them to speak French better than I do. I did not factor in the 11 year old attitude and the rolling of the eyes.
Gabrielle had higher to climb and more work to do. She did not disappoint. She was in special lunch time sessions with her teacher for students with French issues. Come December, Gabrielle was told she no longer needed to attend the lunch time sessions. By January, Gabrielle was correcting my French. Apparently I should have been attending these sessions with her. But a week before our departure back to Canada a French friend told me that he could almost not hear my accent when I spoke French. I did not question him any further, took this as a compliment and quickly changed the subject.
A few days later, with some good family friends and apparently speaking French with barely any accent, I made the dreaded “Kristian mistake.” Kristian is my younger brother. Years ago when he was 12-years-old and we were in Paris he commented to our French family about the peanut butter he liked back home because it did not have any “preservatives” in it. In French, "preservatifs" means condoms. Needless to say, our family was quite delighted to hear that Canadian peanut butter did not contain condoms. Yes, I made the dreaded “Kristian mistake” two days before leaving Paris. At least after a year of school in Paris the girls speak French better than I do. Apparently my French still needs some work.
The only French I wished we had left behind are the lovely schoolyard words the girls have learned and occasionally use –which I will not repeat here. These are some words that are better left at recess at their Parisian schools. Merde, this is not the kind of French I brought them to France for, goddammit!
I can proudly check off our list: French language skills (with some bonus words too). √
Next, getting to know zee intimidating Parisian relatives....
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Ingrid's Top Ten Lists
TOP EIGHT THINGS I'M NOT GOING TO MISS ABOUT PARIS
I could not even come up with 10 here! That is a good thing!
8. Motorcycles driving on the sidewalks. You are a vehicle, not a pedestrian - get on the road!
7. Too many friggin' tourists most of the year. In some areas you really have to fight your way through the crowds.
6. The humidity. Winters chill you to the bone and the hot summer days are rather dreadful (yes it is +34 degrees C out as I write this.)
5. Expensive life, expensive everything!
4. "Kids at school asking me what the F word means." This one is from Gabrielle as I could not come up with enough of my own.
3. Racism. I don't know how many times I have heard this year that all the problems in France are caused by immigrants. And calling the man who owns the corner store "the little arab" and then saying that this is acceptable as it is part of the culture. Don't get my started on these.
2. Cigarette smoke, cigar smoke, 2nd hand smoke, smokers in general. Parents smoking around their children and pushing baby strollers with a cigarette in their hand.
1. And the number one thing I'm not going to miss about Paris....yes, all the dreaded, messy, smelly dog poo on the sidewalks and in the streets of this lovely city!
TOP TEN THINGS I'M GOING TO MISS ABOUT PARIS
- of course, these are, besides the obvious, like my wonderful French family & my new friends - it was difficult to stop at 10, there is so much we are going to miss!
10. Well dressed, good looking men, in nicely tailored, fitted suits. The men here know how to dress. And you never tire of getting an appreciative look from them as you walk on by.
9. The Metro - convenient & easy. And the metro rumbling under the apartment. Love the feeling & sound. Makes me feel alive!
8. Velib System. The pick up & drop off bike system is great and so convenient. After saying when I first arrived "I would never ride a bike in Paris," I did, and often. Even managed to do so in a skirt & heels!
7. Our tiny 50sq m apartment. Easy, intimate & low maintenance! And our fabulous balcony.
6. The girls' excellent schools. Walking to and from school. No driving/being a school bus for 10 months was lovely!
5. Dare I say it, but the French people! Their passion; lively discussions, encores at the theatre, not being afraid to express their opinions, and yes, often saying exactly what they are thinking. Funny how I did not appreciate this trait much while growing up with a French mother though.
4. The baguettes, les pains au chocolats, le fromage, the wine, all zee food! And importantly, le marche with my Apple Man! No saran wrapped food for a year was refreshing.
3. Weekends at the family country house. Relaxing, enjoyable, beautiful setting, fresh air and spending time with our loving French family. Seeing my girls chasing their little French cousins around the yard made this whole year worth it.
2. My Writing Group. Inspiration, motivation, helpful ideas and friendship.
1. And the number one thing I'm going to miss about Paris...how Paris makes me feel! I feel alive, free, adventurous, curious, impulsive, feminine, sexy, like anything is possible. There is always something new, something to do, always learning, discovering, about the city, about the people and about myself.
As Audrey Hepburn said in Sabrina,
"PARIS IS ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA"
I could not even come up with 10 here! That is a good thing!
8. Motorcycles driving on the sidewalks. You are a vehicle, not a pedestrian - get on the road!
7. Too many friggin' tourists most of the year. In some areas you really have to fight your way through the crowds.
6. The humidity. Winters chill you to the bone and the hot summer days are rather dreadful (yes it is +34 degrees C out as I write this.)
5. Expensive life, expensive everything!
4. "Kids at school asking me what the F word means." This one is from Gabrielle as I could not come up with enough of my own.
3. Racism. I don't know how many times I have heard this year that all the problems in France are caused by immigrants. And calling the man who owns the corner store "the little arab" and then saying that this is acceptable as it is part of the culture. Don't get my started on these.
2. Cigarette smoke, cigar smoke, 2nd hand smoke, smokers in general. Parents smoking around their children and pushing baby strollers with a cigarette in their hand.
1. And the number one thing I'm not going to miss about Paris....yes, all the dreaded, messy, smelly dog poo on the sidewalks and in the streets of this lovely city!
TOP TEN THINGS I'M GOING TO MISS ABOUT PARIS
- of course, these are, besides the obvious, like my wonderful French family & my new friends - it was difficult to stop at 10, there is so much we are going to miss!
10. Well dressed, good looking men, in nicely tailored, fitted suits. The men here know how to dress. And you never tire of getting an appreciative look from them as you walk on by.
9. The Metro - convenient & easy. And the metro rumbling under the apartment. Love the feeling & sound. Makes me feel alive!
8. Velib System. The pick up & drop off bike system is great and so convenient. After saying when I first arrived "I would never ride a bike in Paris," I did, and often. Even managed to do so in a skirt & heels!
7. Our tiny 50sq m apartment. Easy, intimate & low maintenance! And our fabulous balcony.
6. The girls' excellent schools. Walking to and from school. No driving/being a school bus for 10 months was lovely!
5. Dare I say it, but the French people! Their passion; lively discussions, encores at the theatre, not being afraid to express their opinions, and yes, often saying exactly what they are thinking. Funny how I did not appreciate this trait much while growing up with a French mother though.
4. The baguettes, les pains au chocolats, le fromage, the wine, all zee food! And importantly, le marche with my Apple Man! No saran wrapped food for a year was refreshing.
3. Weekends at the family country house. Relaxing, enjoyable, beautiful setting, fresh air and spending time with our loving French family. Seeing my girls chasing their little French cousins around the yard made this whole year worth it.
2. My Writing Group. Inspiration, motivation, helpful ideas and friendship.
1. And the number one thing I'm going to miss about Paris...how Paris makes me feel! I feel alive, free, adventurous, curious, impulsive, feminine, sexy, like anything is possible. There is always something new, something to do, always learning, discovering, about the city, about the people and about myself.
As Audrey Hepburn said in Sabrina,
"PARIS IS ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA"
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