As I sat at my favorite spot at the kitchen table, full view of the gorgeous property out the back window, I was watching little cousins giggling as they peaked out from behind their hiding spots as their grande cousine Canadienne, Gabrielle was running across the yard searching for her little cousins in a joyful game of hide and go seek. Nathalie was snuggled up on the couch watching Bambi with 4-year-old Delphine, her arm cradled around her admiring petite cousine. It had taken a few weekends at my uncle Xavier’s country house, for my girls to feel this comfortable. But each time we saw our Parisian family, Nathalie and Gabrielle’s comfort levels grew exponentially.
We were fortunate to spend some wonderful family weekends at my uncle’s country house just outside of the big city during our Paris adventure. Some weekends it was just the three of us with my uncle and aunt. Other weekends, it was pure mayhem, with up to 24 of us, including 11 children, 7-years-old and younger. At the beginning it was tough for the girls to be around all these new family members. Yes they had met most of them before but last time they had been 7 and 4-years-old. Life changes quickly at these tender ages, so do personalities and comfort levels. This was certainly true for me as well. I could see that my girls were looking to me to see how maman felt, how maman fits in, how maman feels. Funny how my comfort level shot straight up with my children looking on; forced yes, but so glad for the big push.
Yes one of my biggest challenges in France has always been for me to feel completely comfortable with my Parisian family. As a child I would see my aunts and uncles and cousins perhaps several times every few years for a dinner or two. Not exactly enough time to develop bonds and relationships. My sister and I would be sitting at la table des enfants, a separate dining table for the children, our legs almost hitting our chins as we sat on miniature chairs. And being 5 years older than my eldest cousin did not help, we had very little in common. This year, these weekends at the country house, Christmas en famille, museum visits together, lunch, coffee dates, shopping, with a year to spend time with them, our relationships and my comfort level grew. My mother often talks about how important it is for future generations of our families to stay in contact over the expansive ocean that separates us. But this year I heard my reserved uncle Xavier, my mother’s brother, tell us how important this will be when they are no longer around. Moments like this only reinforce how important it was for us to spend time in France and really get to know les Demortreux and their ever-growing families.
Gabrielle playing Uno with Mathieu and Alban. Nathalie sitting at the big country dining table showing my cousin’s husband, Nicolas, how to use her iPad. Gabrielle playing badminton with Patrick, my eldest cousin Valerie’s husband. Nathalie happily helping Tante Simone make dinner. A week after we returned to Calgary, I received an e-mail from my cousine Laetitia. She signed off her message with a salutation I have never seen before from my French family, avec toute mon affection, with all my affection. I immediately realized that, yes, we were all feeling much more at ease with each other and were spending time together because we wanted to, not because we had to. Another success for Tai Girls: family bonds. Objective number two for our year, happily checked off the list. √
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